Public Notification

Under the policy of openness and transparency, I wish to notify the public of the following:

1. I am not perfect.

2. My imperfections may result in one or more of the following:
(a) doing the wrong thing;
(b) saying the wrong thing;
(c) thinking the wrong thing;
(d) annoying people;
(e) getting annoyed without good reason.

3. If you have good reason to believe that any of the items listed under Point 2 apply, you have the following options available to you:
(a) See Point 1;
(b) Make a complaint to the irrelevant authorities (known colloquially as a 'bitchfest');
(c) Make a complaint to me.

4. Please note that complaints made under subsection 3(c) may result in a full or partial disclosure of your own imperfections.

5. If you wish to make a complaint about the content of this declaration, please see Points 1 and 3 above.