Frustration or My Computer Has an Attitude Problem

This week has been a very frustrating week, most of which has had to do with my computer. When I tell it do something, it decides to do something different. And I am almost positive that at the moment it’s getting a real kick out of seeing me waste my time. I enter all this information in and, with a flick of the mouse, it’s gone. It’s like it has an attitude problem or something. As though it’s telling me ‘Nuh, don’t want to do that. Find yourself another slave.’

It has been so frustrating, because I rely on the computer a lot. Perhaps too much. Maybe that’s why it’s suddenly decided to become temperamental and only help me when it feels like it. But I do use my computer for most of my daily tasks. I work at home, on my computer. I blog and write, using my computer. I do my banking and pay my bills with my computer. I do my university work on my computer. I even order groceries on my computer.

And let me tell you, my computer really pushed it too far the other day. I had ordered groceries, and as I was ordering, things kept getting deleted from my basket. I thought I caught them all and added them all again. But when my groceries arrived, no diet coke. Anyone who knows me would understand how completely frustrated I felt at this point. I’m kind of a bit addicted to diet coke. Okay, I’m a lot addicted to diet coke.

Now my computer may delete work that I’ve done, refresh a page when I’m in the middle of writing an email, decide to keep making me sign into ebay for some unknown reason, slow down completely when I have about 20 things to do and refuse to send my emails to hotmail addresses (Actually I think that’s a problem with my internet provider. But they’re friends. I think they’re ganging up on me.) And I can kind of understand. The poor thing is a bit overworked. But when my computer deletes my DIET COKE, I am not happy AT ALL.

Now admittedly my computer has not done anything really bad. It hasn’t shut down on me. It hasn’t sent money off to Nigeria. It hasn’t deleted my book that I’ve been working on for five years. None of the things it has done has caused any real dramas. Even the missing diet coke wasn’t really that bad. My life is not going to suffer if my diet coke does not come on the day I ordered it.

It’s just been frustrating. And inconvenient. And time-consuming. Did I mention frustrating?

But sometimes I think it’s those little frustrations that are more upsetting than the big dramas. When I have something really go bad, I tend to be pretty philosophical about it. I say things like well God has a purpose and something better might come along. I feel calm and in control and peaceful. When my computer decides I’m spending too much time on ebay, I start yelling and crying.

Why is that?

Well, most frustration comes down to the fact that I am not getting my way. Things aren’t working out the way I want them to. In other words, it’s all about me and my desires. And one thing this week has taught me is just how annoyed I do get when I don’t get what I want.

And I guess with the big things, there is that hope that God’s in control. God has a plan. Maybe I didn’t get what I want here, because there is something better around the corner. But with the little things, there is no reason to it. My life is not going to suddenly get better because I have to write an email again. God doesn’t have a better email planned for me. It’s just a frustration. A frustration that serves no purpose except to make me yell at the computer, cry over missing diet coke and frustrate me.

Well, maybe it does serve a little purpose. As I said, it has made me realise just how much I like getting my own way. It has made me recognise a few of my faults that I didn’t actually know were there. And hopefully, it will eventually make the kind of person who is not so easily frustrated, who can still remain peaceful when things don’t go my own way. Maybe. With God, there’s always hope.

And maybe it’s also God’s way of telling me that I rely on my computer more than I rely on Him. God isn’t going to break down, delete my prayers or make me wait five minutes for the page on the bible to download. And unlike my computer, he doesn’t have an attitude problem. My computer problems can possibly be solved with a good clean-up and running a program to fix bugs and improve performance. But to fix my frustration problems, I’m going to need to spend less time on the computer and more time with God. He is the best anti-virus program for the human soul there is.

Postscript: While trying to upload this post, my internet encountered a problem and had to close. I find it hard to believe that is simply encounters problems. I am quite positive that it goes out searching for them. And then when I tried to find a picture to add, it moved so slowly, I could have built my own computer and taken a photograph of it before it was done. So I ditched the picture idea. I am not a person who swears often. If I do, people tend to look at me in shock. But in the middle of doing this blog, I have said the F word about 10 times. And I don't mean the word 'frustration'. I think I've already said this once or twice in this post, but this is very FRUSTRATING!