Friday, July 10, 2009

Suspicious Minds

Recently I found myself in a situation where I didn’t trust somebody. Now I’m usually a person who does trust people, who always believes the best in others. But with this particular person, I just had this niggly feeling that something wasn’t right. I even mentioned my suspicions to others. And then felt terrible that I had done that.

I tried to give this person the benefit of the doubt. When a situation arose in which I had to trust them to a certain degree, my first reaction was ‘No, don’t do that.’ But I thought no. I don’t want to be someone who thinks people are deceiving them. I want to believe that people generally have good intentions. So I acted against instinct. And then worried that I had done the wrong thing.

It turns out my suspicions were correct. And at first, that was a bit of a relief. At least now I knew that I wasn’t suspecting someone without good reason. But at the same time, I also felt a bit deflated.

Yeah, I was right. This person was trying to deceive myself and others. So what? I still didn’t feel that good that I had been so ready to believe the worst of somebody. I don’t want to be that kind of person. I never was before.

It kind of brings up a whole load of questions for me too.

Was I right in suspecting them? Should I have gone with my instinct? And could that niggly feeling perhaps even have been God’s way of warning me?

Or should I have trusted them anyway? Even though they didn’t deserve my trust. Even though my instincts were right. Should I still believe the best of people, even though it means sometimes I may be wrong?

I don’t know the answers to those questions. I still don’t know whether I did the wrong thing in trusting this person or whether I did the wrong thing in suspecting them. And should a Christian lean more towards trusting or lean more towards listening to the voice that tells them something is not quite right?

I don’t want to be a suspicious and paranoid person. I really don’t like the fact that I was that person for a time. And I really hope that my suspicions and paranoia end there. But I’m worried they won’t.

Because the problem is, once suspicions have been proved correct, it’s hard not to listen to them the next time around.

I’m not annoyed with this person for trying to deceive me. But I am annoyed with myself that I wasn’t deceived. I’d rather be deceived. I’d rather trust and be hurt, than not be able to trust at all. I’d rather believe the best and be proved wrong, than believe the worst and hate myself because of it.

But at the same time, maybe that feeling that something wasn't right was God telling me to be careful. And maybe I should have listened to it more.


  1. I didn't realize I stole your title! My bad!

    Thank you for showing me this place. I hope it's better than the last one! I also hope the less than pleasant people we just left don't follow us!
    Discussion and debate are good, skulduggery is bad!

  2. Hi SL,

    I think it's funny that we both chose the same title for one of our posts. Although it's a sad reflection of the place we've come from.

    I think it might be quite quiet here for a while. But I'm looking forward to the peace.


  3. Oh and SL,

    I forgot to say I also hope the less than pleasant people don't follow us. But I am very glad that you have decided to. It's nice to have a friend here with me.


  4. Hey Liz don't feel bad, it's a christian thing to want to believe the best in others, but really it's not bad to reserve your trust until others have earned it. The only one we can really trust is God.

    The Bible says to know them that labour among you, and also try the spirits because many spirits have gone out into the world. Remember Jesus is in your hear, and trust your heart when it comes to things like that.

  5. Hi Lester.

    I was about to say, it's great to see another familiar face. But that's not quite the right word. Nice to see a familiar name, maybe.

    And that's a very good point you raise about how the only one we can really trust is God. The bible never says that we should trust everybody. In fact, there are many times when it would be foolish to do so.

    For example, when people claim to be speaking for God, I'd rather see what God has to say on the matter that simply trust that they're hearing from him.

    Thanks for commenting on my new blog.


  6. Hey Liz, found you!

    You've got a nice little spot here, and I have it bookmarked.

    I quite understand where you're coming from. My grandfather would tell me sometimes that if you have a nagging suspicion about something, it just might be God whispering in your ear. He was a smart guy. I think it's ok to keep a little guard up, without neglecting your compassionate and open nature. The two do not need to be exclusive.

    I look forward to being a regular reader here. I have my own little corner of the blogosphere as well, albeit slightly to another direction than this blog. You can click on my name if you'd like to see it. Beware, I'm a little loonier than you might have previously guessed! ;)

    Be well,


  7. Hi Natalina,

    Another familiar person. Soon I'll have to put out a welcome mat and hold a blog-warming party.

    I had a quick look at your blog as well. I see what you mean how it's a different direction than this blog. I'll have to go back when I have more time. I find some of that paranormal stuff quite interesting, even though I tend to look at it all from a Christian perspective.

    But I love hearing about different ways that people have of thinking about and connecting to the supernatural.

    And thanks for paying a visit to my new blog home. It really was very nice to see that you had found me and left a comment.


  8. Well I believe suspicion is ungodly. Jesus in Matt 7:1 said do not judge, he was talking about fault finding and suspicion. It is okay to have discernment about someone, but suspicion leads to lack of respect and trust. We have to give people some percentage of trust, but if we are always looking for something, we will find something and end up hurting one another whether or not that suscipion was based on truth or assumptions.

  9. I agree that suspicion is ungodly, especially when it comes from not being able to trust anyone and viewing everyone with suspicion. Not only it is not what God wants for us, but it's a pretty terrible way to live.

    However, it's often hard to know where the line is between suspicion and discernment. When Jesus said that one would betray him and one would deny him, he wasn't being suspicious. He knew that that was the case. For the rest of us, we can never have that same certainty.




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