Revenge

There are very few of us who don’t have at least a little part of us that want people to suffer when they hurt us. In its mildest form, this may mean just getting the teeniest bit of pleasure when someone who has hurt us goes through their own pain, through no fault of our own. It is even better when their suffering is caused through their own doing. A bit like guilt-free revenge, in a way. Kind of like ‘Well God showed you, didn’t he?’

Then there are the times when we imagine the terrible things we would like to have happen to a person who has hurt us. It could mean just spending a brief moment picturing something slightly discomforting. At the other end, it could mean spending countless hours actively plotting their ruin and downfall. There’s a big difference between the two, but nevertheless, both are dangerous.

Firstly, when we spend any time engaging in mental revenge, there’s a good chance we are carrying out another form of revenge. Sure we may not be carrying out the big email campaign against Jane Doe, who stole our idea at work. We may not be going through her files and destroying her work. We may not be ringing up our boss anonymously, pretending to be the police investigating Jane Doe for murder. But we’re probably doing at least something to make Jane Doe suffer, even if it’s not what we would really like to do.

How are we talking about Jane Doe to other work colleagues? Are we trying to poison their minds against her? Are we treating Jane Doe in the same way we would treat other people? If she leaves something on a desk, do we return it to her? Or do we leave it, because it belongs to that silly woman who stole our idea? And what’s our attitude towards Jane Doe like? It is almost impossible to have a good attitude towards someone, when we are spending a lot of time imagining their suffering. Are we using every opportunity to show Jane that we are don’t like her? Are we trying to make her feel guilty?

Trying to make someone feel guilty is probably one of the top ways that people try to make others suffer for the hurt they have caused. Sometimes there’s no even the conscious desire for revenge. But the subconscious desire to make someone suffer for what they did is still there. I know it’s a generalisation, but I think wives are the ones who do this most often. Their husband hurts them. So they pout and they cry and they huff and give the cold shoulder and they withdraw affection. They might say they’re doing it because they are hurt. There’s a good chance they are also doing it because they want their husband to suffer for what he did.

The other danger with imagining some misfortune befalling those that have hurt us is that what starts off as brief harmless fantasy can quickly turn to an all-consuming desire to revenge. It starts to become all we think about. It destroys our peace. It can affect our relationships. Eventually, it can get to the stage where we feel we will never be happy until that person gets what they deserve.

There are three options when we’re in that place. The first is to simply be miserable and bitter for our entire lives. Not a good option. The other is to take matters into our own hands and try to punish them ourselves. Also not a good option. Not only does it usually lead us away from the will of God, but it can get us into all sorts of trouble. Plus, if we’re successful, we often end up feeling more hollow than satisfied.

The last option is to let it go. Just let it go. Forgive them and move on.

It’s easier to say than to do. There seems to be this idea hard-wired into us that when somebody does something wrong, then somebody has to pay. Well guess what? Somebody already did.

In today’s world of the personalised Jesus, we often look at Jesus on the cross and say ‘he died for my sins’. True enough. But he also died for the sins of our enemies. Whenever we think somebody should suffer, it would be worthwhile remember that somebody already did suffer. Jesus Christ did the suffering for those very sins that have hurt us.

That’s not to say that God will not punish them for what they did. Perhaps he will. But we should leave the punishment up to God. And we should give up all thoughts of revenge – even if they’re only in our imagination.

(Image details: Retribution; - tarring and feathering; - or - the patriots revenge, by James Gillray (died 1815), published 1795. Courtesy of Wikipedia Commons.)

Frustration or My Computer Has an Attitude Problem

This week has been a very frustrating week, most of which has had to do with my computer. When I tell it do something, it decides to do something different. And I am almost positive that at the moment it’s getting a real kick out of seeing me waste my time. I enter all this information in and, with a flick of the mouse, it’s gone. It’s like it has an attitude problem or something. As though it’s telling me ‘Nuh, don’t want to do that. Find yourself another slave.’

It has been so frustrating, because I rely on the computer a lot. Perhaps too much. Maybe that’s why it’s suddenly decided to become temperamental and only help me when it feels like it. But I do use my computer for most of my daily tasks. I work at home, on my computer. I blog and write, using my computer. I do my banking and pay my bills with my computer. I do my university work on my computer. I even order groceries on my computer.

And let me tell you, my computer really pushed it too far the other day. I had ordered groceries, and as I was ordering, things kept getting deleted from my basket. I thought I caught them all and added them all again. But when my groceries arrived, no diet coke. Anyone who knows me would understand how completely frustrated I felt at this point. I’m kind of a bit addicted to diet coke. Okay, I’m a lot addicted to diet coke.

Now my computer may delete work that I’ve done, refresh a page when I’m in the middle of writing an email, decide to keep making me sign into ebay for some unknown reason, slow down completely when I have about 20 things to do and refuse to send my emails to hotmail addresses (Actually I think that’s a problem with my internet provider. But they’re friends. I think they’re ganging up on me.) And I can kind of understand. The poor thing is a bit overworked. But when my computer deletes my DIET COKE, I am not happy AT ALL.

Now admittedly my computer has not done anything really bad. It hasn’t shut down on me. It hasn’t sent money off to Nigeria. It hasn’t deleted my book that I’ve been working on for five years. None of the things it has done has caused any real dramas. Even the missing diet coke wasn’t really that bad. My life is not going to suffer if my diet coke does not come on the day I ordered it.

It’s just been frustrating. And inconvenient. And time-consuming. Did I mention frustrating?

But sometimes I think it’s those little frustrations that are more upsetting than the big dramas. When I have something really go bad, I tend to be pretty philosophical about it. I say things like well God has a purpose and something better might come along. I feel calm and in control and peaceful. When my computer decides I’m spending too much time on ebay, I start yelling and crying.

Why is that?

Well, most frustration comes down to the fact that I am not getting my way. Things aren’t working out the way I want them to. In other words, it’s all about me and my desires. And one thing this week has taught me is just how annoyed I do get when I don’t get what I want.

And I guess with the big things, there is that hope that God’s in control. God has a plan. Maybe I didn’t get what I want here, because there is something better around the corner. But with the little things, there is no reason to it. My life is not going to suddenly get better because I have to write an email again. God doesn’t have a better email planned for me. It’s just a frustration. A frustration that serves no purpose except to make me yell at the computer, cry over missing diet coke and frustrate me.

Well, maybe it does serve a little purpose. As I said, it has made me realise just how much I like getting my own way. It has made me recognise a few of my faults that I didn’t actually know were there. And hopefully, it will eventually make the kind of person who is not so easily frustrated, who can still remain peaceful when things don’t go my own way. Maybe. With God, there’s always hope.

And maybe it’s also God’s way of telling me that I rely on my computer more than I rely on Him. God isn’t going to break down, delete my prayers or make me wait five minutes for the page on the bible to download. And unlike my computer, he doesn’t have an attitude problem. My computer problems can possibly be solved with a good clean-up and running a program to fix bugs and improve performance. But to fix my frustration problems, I’m going to need to spend less time on the computer and more time with God. He is the best anti-virus program for the human soul there is.

Postscript: While trying to upload this post, my internet encountered a problem and had to close. I find it hard to believe that is simply encounters problems. I am quite positive that it goes out searching for them. And then when I tried to find a picture to add, it moved so slowly, I could have built my own computer and taken a photograph of it before it was done. So I ditched the picture idea. I am not a person who swears often. If I do, people tend to look at me in shock. But in the middle of doing this blog, I have said the F word about 10 times. And I don't mean the word 'frustration'. I think I've already said this once or twice in this post, but this is very FRUSTRATING!

Manna and Trusting God

In the desert, the Israelites were given manna to eat. Each day, they had to collect what they needed for that day, except for the day before the Sabbath, when they were to collect what they needed for the Sabbath as well. They could not try to collect for more than one day or save what they had collected. Any manna left over at the end of the day went bad. The only exception to this was the Sabbath, when the manna would miraculously last for two days.

Talk about an exercising in trusting God. They were compliant reliant on God providing what they needed.

To put it in perspective, imagine if you only had enough food in your house for today. And if you tried to stock your pantries with food for beyond one day, it went mouldy. Or imagine that you only had enough money for today. No savings, no extra money in the bank account and no retirement plans. Scary, isn’t it?

In today’s western world, we like to make plans. We don’t just fill our cupboards and refrigerators with food for one day. Often we have enough food there to keep us going for a month. We start to stress when our money runs low or we’re not sure what our next source of income will be or we don’t know if we can survive through retirement.

Now there’s nothing wrong with planning. In today’s world, we need do at least some planning. But most of us are pretty good with planning. Well at least, we do a very good job at worrying about the future. But we’re not so good with trusting God.

Maybe we need to do a little less worrying and a little more trusting. Maybe we need to stop being so anxious over problems that aren’t even here yet. Maybe we need to start enjoying what God provides us with, instead of wanting to hoard it for a rainy day. And maybe we need to spend a lot more time being thankful for each and every day that we have what we need for that day. Because for today at least, that’s all we really need.

(Image details: The Gathering of the Manna at the Musée de la Chartreuse. Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons. Image is in the public domain)